This Game Summary of the Sens vs. Carolina Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity

by Brochenski

Other headlines that were considered:

-"The Sens Lost Their Last Saturday Afternoon Game. And The One Before That. And The One Before That. You Won't Believe What Happened This Game"

-"You Won't Believe Your Eyes When You See This 175 lbs. Defenseman Rush Up The Ice"

-"The Amount of Ice-Time Jared Cowen Gets Will Both Shock And Surprise You"

-In the latest installment of the Saturday Afternoon Hangover Series, Ottawa takes on the Hurricanes on the road. Paul MacLean tries this crazy new strategy of “starting your best goalie”. Hasn’t been used too much lately so we’ll have to wait and see how this thing pans out. There is no way saying this will back-fire on me. This is a really smart thing to say and I think I should definitely include it.

-Carolina starts Khudobin in nets. Funducational Fact: he was the random guy who shut out the Sens during the last game of the 2011-12 season. “More like WHOdobin!!!” echoes through a dark, lonely basement as I brainstorm extra hard to find a good dig at it him.

1st period

17:34 - Da Costa Da Losta his balance (sorry) and draws a penalty after being tripped by Radek Dvorak, who is apparently still in the NHL

15:07 – Dean Brown refers to Ron Hainsey as “the former Jet” after picking up the puck, which I guess a lot better than “the former Thrasher”, “the former Blue Jacket”, or “the 32 year old who’s never played a playoff game”

10:00 – Denis Potvin talks about the importance of scoring first.

9:30 – Carolina scores first.

-Nathan Gerbe stole the puck from Phillips and scored on a horrendous wrap-around shot. Cory Conacher chirps him on his way past the bench in secret elf language. 1-0 Carolina

-Denis Potvin actually called Gerbe "Gerber", which I guess was just instinct after seeing a Senators goalie give up a garbage goal.

15:57 - Erik Karlsson gets the team's best chance of the period as his shorthanded rush up the ice turns into a breakaway. Unsurprisingly, a Senators player couldn't beat a goalie 1-on-0.  

0:54 - With Methot and Karlsson in front of him, Eric Staal drags and uses Karlsson as a screen, but hits the crossbar. It was initially called a goal, but after review it was waived off. Judging by the boos after being called back, the Carolina crowd was awfully upset that a shot off the front of the crossbar doesn't count as a goal. :(

2nd Period

13:55 - Alex Semin picks up the puck in his own zone and makes a beautiful stretch pass to send Eric Staal on a breakaway who buries it past Robin Lehner. 2-0 Carolina

13:23 - Almost immediately afterwards, Manny Malhotra buries a saucer pass from Gerbe. Jared Cowen's patented "flop down on the ice and hope things works out" move is now approximately 0-58 this season. 3-0 Carolina

9:25 - Jeff Skinner rips a shot off the post, but this time the crowd didn't boo when it wasn't called a goal. The Sens really struggled this period to get decent scoring chances. To be fair, scoring is hard when half of the opposing team's defense are Toronto Maple Leafs cast-offs.

6:37 - Riley "Not Rick" Nash scores after standing in the slot uncovered with enough time to settle the puck down and aim his shot. 4-0 Team Named After Weather

6:02 - Clarke MacArthur picks up a rebound at the right side of the net, and makes incredibly smart pass to a wide open Turris across the crease. 4-1 Carolina. Following this goal the Sens (namely Zibanejad) had a few more chances

3:39 - Chris Neil takes a double-minor high sticking penalty.

2:15 - Feeding off the momentum of Neil's penalty, Turris scores shorthanded off an incredible pass by MacArthur from the half boards on the opposite side of the ice. 4-2 Team Who's Logo Looks Like a Flushing Toilet

0:32 - After a shorthanded rush goes wrong, Rutuu gets a good chance and doesn't mess up. 5-2 Carolina

0:22 - Zibanejad gets a break and puts it past Khudobin. 5-3 Carolina. Crazy period.

3rd Period

20:00 - Craig Anderson starts the 3rd. The hunter has now been hunted.

15:42 - Cory Conacher and Liles both get two for some ruff stuff, making it 4-on-4. Neither team scored, but Jared Cowen did not look good in his own zone during these two minutes. 

But damn does he look good here.

6:08 - Bobby Ryan takes a tripping penalty. Condra makes a rush, passes it over to Smith who misses wide. Sens Penalty Killing 101.

1:51 - MacLean pulls the goalie with plenty of time left, which is totally the right move when down by two.

1:41 - Ceci can't keep the puck in at the blue line. Bowman picks up the puck and gives it to Gerbe. Karlsson then pressures Gerbe, who moves it past him to Malhotra who buries the empty-netter. 6-3 Carolina


1:29 - Komisarek takes a delay-of-game penalty, giving the Sens some much needed time to practice their power-play.

Final Score: 6-3 Carolina

Closing Comments

*puts on 3D glasses with the lenses punched out and sets foot up on computer chair*

As usual, the stand-outs in this game for the Sens were Turris, MacArthur, Karlsson and Zibanejad.

The Sens have now lost 4 of their last 5 games. This late in the season, the team really needs to pick up their play if they want to make the playoffs. Assuming they need minimum 92 points to make the playoffs in the East, the Sens will to play at about a 104 point pace until the end of the season. With this loss, Carolina actually passes Ottawa in the standings. 

Have a good Saturday, everybody.

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