BREAKING: NHL pondering a pivot; not being "tone deaf shitbags"

by Joe Boughner (@McLlwainsWorld)

Documents uncovered by the RBM research crew show that senior brass within NHL headquarters are considering a drastic change of position on domestic and sexual violence issues in the NHL community.

"Guys, I'm starting to think we've been a bunch of tone deaf shitbags on this issue," an anonymous hockey operations official wrote in a leaked email. "Seriously, bags full of shit."

Following high profile events in professional football, many executives within the league retreated into what one employee called "the warm embrace of denial and self-righteousness," following the tried and true path that also shaped the league's response to performance enhancing drugs and serious post-concussion issues.

But in the wake of the latest sexual violence incident to affect an NHL player, the "at least we're not the NFL" narrative appears to be collapsing faster than a scrub defenceman who tried to pinch at the line against a Patrick Kane breakout.

In response to the latest pitch from the NHL Shop marketing team for a line of purple crop top shirtsies emblazoned with a domestic violence awareness ribbon, several members of Commissioner Gary Bettman's inner circle appeared to break ranks.

"I think that might not be well received by the wives of our fans," remarked one advisor.

"I'm with [redacted]. Besides, won't that cut into our pink jersey sales?" added another.

NHL officials have long objected to claims that they
are insensitive to female fans

But the most damning condemnation came from the unnamed official from hockey operations.

"I just feel like maybe we could try not being complete asshats this time around," he wrote in the same leaked email. "Just once."

Commissioner Bettman's name didn't appear in the leaked email thread though a separate leaked document was included showing his itinerary for his visit to Chicago during the NBCSN season opener on Wednesday, October 7.

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