Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
by Bonk's Mullet (with images from Kevin and Gains)
It's been a cold few months in Ottawa. After losing twice in a row to Vancouver and Detroit, negativity was running wild. Sens fans started to turn on their father figures, MacLean and Murray, as well as their star players in Karlsson, Spezza, and Anderson. So, Ottawa did what any family does when things get dire. "Honey, we're going to Florida!"
|"La la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"|
by Capital Gains
It's game day! The Ottawa Senators are in Miami to face the Florida Panthers tonight. Coming off an emotional loss to Daniel Alfredsson and the Detroit Red Wings on Sunday, Ottawa is looking to bounce back with a strong game against the Panthers. Here are your story lines for tonight's game:
Sunday, December 1, 2013
by Bonk's Mullet and Chet Sellers
They say you can never go home again. Well, that's not technically true; you can go home again, but Robin Lehner lives there now and he refuses to turn on the furnace. Daniel Alfredsson may not be going home tonight, but he's going to the next closest place, the Canadian Tire Centre.
You've already read and seen plenty about what tonight does or doesn't mean, from Silver Seven Sens' excellent reassessment of Alfredsson's hagiography to other idiots expressing their anguish through the majesty of song. But despite everyone's search for answers, as game night approaches, we're only left with more questions - will anyone actually boo Daniel Alfredsson? Will the emotion surrounding this evening have any impact on the man himself? And most importantly, will the Senators be able to beat the Red Wings for a third time?
We've decided to summarize the game by putting a finger to the pulse of the Sens Army. Here's reaction to Alfie's return via the tweets of Sens fans.
Friday, November 29, 2013
by Matt Mostrey and the Bonk's Mullet Staff
You never know how people will react in emotionally-stressful situations. In late October, on the occasion of the Senators' first matchup against the Detroit Red Wings and former captain Daniel Alfredsson, we expressed our conflicted emotions the only way that made sense to us - by posting a series of bad Kelly Clarkson parody lyrics on Twitter. That prompted the following offer from musician and Twitter power-user @infiascomatt:
@chet_sellers @BonksMullet if you guys write a since u been gone Alfie song I'll record it. no joke.
- Matthew Mostrey (@infiascomatt) October 23, 2013
How could we say no to that? The words came quickly, like in our hearts they had always been there. Once Matt recorded it, we knew we had something special, and today, as Ottawa prepares for the return of Daniel Alfredsson, we share it with you. Alfredsson may be gone, but like the song says, now we get what we want.
As long as what we want is a hockey team with a losing record. Enjoy!
*We wrote these lyrics a while ago.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
by the Bonk's Mullet Staff
Folks, we've got good news and bad news for you today. The bad news is that we're all going to the Sens-Canucks game tonight, so for the first time this season there will be no recap this evening. The good news is that we're not leaving you hanging - instead, we've collected some things we already wrote and put it together with content scraped from other people! It's the tweets of the week!
by Chet Sellers
We like to have fun here at bonksmullet.com, but sometimes we forget the real objective of this site - education. Take tonight's game against the Washington Capitals, for example - we could make "jokes", and try to be "funny", but would you end up learning any more about the Capitals that way? How much do you know about the Capitals, anyway? Can you name any of their players other than Ovechkin? Do you know which division they're playing in this year? Did you know they used to be called the Bullets?
Didn't think so. We're going to use the rest of this recap to introduce you to a number of Washington Capitals players who figured into tonight's outcome against the Senators. Which ones, you ask? Let's find out!