Captional Gains: Training Camp Day 1

Thursday, September 12, 2013

by the Bonk's Mullet staff


The Ottawa Senators have released a gallery of photos from the first day of training camp, but only we here at BonksMullet.com have the exclusive stories behind each photo. Here's what we found out.


Jason Smith suddenly realizes Chris Phillips can talk about the beer brewing process for much longer than he initially anticipated.
Marc Methot and his accountant review the results of Erik Karlsson's physical.
Pictured above: The only remains of Craig Anderson, that is, if we were to let Robin Lehner out of his cage.
Chris Neil stayed up until sunrise playing the newly-released NHL 14, although nobody had the heart to tell him he needed to use a controller. Not pictured: a half-awake Gabriel Pageau with bleeding thumbs.
Okay on three, say, "Crushing realization that you're filling the collective hole left in a city's heart!"
"There were ribs? How many? Really, THAT many? What kind of sauce? AND coleslaw?"
Bobby Ryan put on 20 pounds of muscle during the off-season, purely from the weight of expectations placed on him by Sens fans.
Kyle Turris, moments after being told "the floor is lava."
"So I told Lucic, 'While you might argue that we both have free will, it's just an illusion, as in the end it's the Nietzschian idea of Will to Power that compels us to fight.' And then I punched him in the face."
Curtis Lazar confidently tells Don Brennan he's "seen bigger".
Erik Karlsson continues the long road to recovery as team stylists assess his flow at 70%.
Erik Karlsson responds to critics who claim he may never shine again.
Zack Smith, late to the #Rihannaing trend, giving the camera his signature look: strong, yet vulnerable.
"I already did my hair. I don't want the bottle again. You're definitely getting sprayed, buddy."
"Seriously guys, you can take the picture with the C on there. Coach says it's fine." (Source)