Ask Mullet Monday: September 2, 2014

by Bonk's Mullet

It was a big summer for me. Firstly, I decided to leave my PhD program. My apologies go to those of you who had grown accustomed to calling me Future Dr. Bonk's Mullet. I hope Bonk's Mullet, B.A.&Sc. is catchy enough to retain readership. Secondly, I moved from Philadelphia to Calgary, which are polar opposites in economic conditions; think of Calgary as MLSE and Philadelphia as an expansion team in the desert owned by Eugene Melnyk. Third, I got engaged to an amazing woman. Thanks for all the nice words that you've sent along. Fourth, I moved in with said woman, and fifth, I got a job as a web developer thanks to the absolutely top notch content available at this site.

After a full rebuild, it's time to get back on the blogging saddle (that was a reference to horses to demonstrate how acclimated I've become to the West *shoots guns into the sky*)! I asked for your questions for the first #AskMullet Monday of the 2014-2015 season. Here we go!


1. "Do you think Uncle Eugene has a case with his tax-evasion allegations against Valeant?" - Peter Raaymakers

Nice try, Peter. That's more of a mid-season #AskMullet question. I'd rather opt for a nicely lobbed softball question instead.

"What is your favorite Kevin Costner baseball movie and why?" - Zachary Deutsch

Okay, so it's a baseball question, but Field of Dreams, obviously. For the record, "If you build it, [they] will come," was also Bruce Firestone's motto when he built the Palladium in Kanata.

2. "If @sensfoundation sponsored a golf tournament - who would have a better score - you or @MelnykEugene?" - Will i @am

Definitely Mr. Melnyk, because he's always in the red numbers.

3. "Do you have tickets to the one Sens/Flames game this season and who will be tanking for McDavid harder?" - Andrew Campbell

I'm actually planning to get a big group of Sens fans together at the Saddledome for the game, so get in touch with me if you're in the Calgary area!

In terms of tanking for McDavid, I'll leave you with the highest paid forwards on the Flames and Sens:

See also: Erik Karlsson
Whatever you do, don't check who Ottawa's next highest paid forward/highest paid Cornell graduate is.

4. "Which ninja turtle is the best and why?" - James Gordon

The Green Ranger.

5. "Are the #REDBLACKS missing Spezza's offensive prowess?" - RedBlack Renegade

Well Mr. BlackGade, I fear that you are right. I've noticed that Henry Burris has been looking directly at his receivers before passing them the ball, almost without fail. If number 19 taught us anything, it's never to look your receiver in the eye. Given that the REDBLACKS offence is last in the league, a few dozen no-look laterals per play couldn't hurt.

6. "Is it true that the kegs at the Canadian Tire Centre are not refrigerated?" - Feisty

Although Eugene has been known to penny pinch, this simply isn't true. The kegs are kept at the ideal temperature of 3 degrees Celsius thanks to the icy silence of the 100's section.

7. "Who is the next beloved Senator who will tragically leave the team without warning?" - Andrew Berkshire

I think he already tried to leave but got stuck in traffic.

8. "Is Alfie coming back? who gets the C? will Harper get in another term? does this shirt go with these pants?" - marnie
It feels like Harper has been the Prime Minister for five terms. I just wish Alfie would come back for a second. And, yes, you look fabulous.

9. "I've heard when you get married, you get way less funny. Is this true? (please answer with a joke)." - Tyler Ray


10. "What do you think Jared Cowen is doing right at this very moment?" - Jaskyyy

Apologies if I didn't get to your question tonight. There were a ton of great ones, but I'm handcuffed by an internal cap of 10 answers.

Tweet me with #AskMullet or email to get your questions in for next Monday!

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