The Ottawa Senators Dictionary

By Luke Peristy (with files from Chet Sellers)

Like many communities, Ottawa Senators fans have developed their own lingo over the years. Whether you're a new fan or an old one, if you're looking to understand just what people are talking about, we're here to help. Here is the Ottawa Senators Dictionary.

Adductor muscle (n.) - A hip muscle that is apparently extremely important to the act of playing goaltender.

Alfie (n.) - Ancient Nordic deity. Still worshipped by a small, loyal cult of followers who believe in his imminent return.

Assistant General Manager (n.) - Hockey operations position immediately below the General Manager. Has been known to be a cold and opportunistic person regardless of how much his uncle has done for him in the past.

Battle of Ontario, The (n.) - A once contentious but ultimately one-sided rivalry that now survives only on the lingering memory of bad blood. Kept alive today by Senators season ticket holders selling their seats at super-inflated prices to Leafs fans, and Leafs fans who are just happy to be able to see their team at bargain-basement prices.

Big Rig (n.) - Nickname given to Chris Phillips in honour of the usual process by which the Ottawa Senators were given the first-overall pick in the draft lottery.

Big Rig (v.) - The act of holding a Big Rig beer while pointing.

Binghamton Senators (n.) - The Ottawa Senators' AHL affiliate, colloquially referred to as "Bingo". In Senators parlance, "scoring a Bingo" occurs when a player is designated for assignment, put on waivers, or is Jim O'Brien.

Brown, Dean (n.) - Long-time Ottawa Senators play-by-play commentator, known for his trademark calls of "Scram-BLLE!", "Oh my heavens!", and "Chris Neil goes offside."

Canadian Tire Place (n.) - See: Palladium

Captaincy (n.) - Something a player receives prior to his departure from Ottawa.

Centurion, The (n.) - The Ottawa Senators logo. Over time the centurion has moved from a side profile picture to a forward-facing picture, just like a university graduation photo shoot.

Civic Centre (n.) - The first arena for the Ottawa Senators, located under the grandstand at the former Frank Clair Stadium. Just like you in high school, the Ottawa Senators scored for the first time under the football bleachers.

Clouston, Cory (n.) - Former Ottawa Senators head coach noted for his philosophy that you can have neither too many purple shirts nor men on the ice.

Cole, Bob (n.) - CBC play-by-play commentator with an iconic voice, known for his trademark calls of "Sundin . . . scores! Mats Sundin, bullet shot!", "Toronto scores! Roberts ends the game!", "Mogilny scores!", "Nieuwendyk put that through Lalime!", and "Here's Nieuwendyk again . . . scores again!"

Corel Centre (n.) - See: Scotiabank Place

Cost per point (n.) - A more reasonable, lower-calorie alternative to "winning a Stanley Cup".

Deadline rental (n.) - The reason God created 2nd round draft picks.

Dilemma (n.) - A choice between two equally-undesirable alternatives, such as the choice between letting Zdeno Chara walk or keeping Wade Redden.

Drop pass (n.) - A high-risk play where an attacking forward leaves the puck to be picked up by another forward. Gives people who call into post-game shows something to complain about, although no one seems to complain when this happens.:

Expert (n.) - Someone who has seen the replay.

Fake Stick Toss (v.) - The most hilarious thing Daniel Alfredsson ever did without involving Darcy Tucker.

First-overall Draft Pick (n.) - Something used to pick Alexandre Daigle, Bryan Berard, and Chris Phillips. Not particularly useful.

Garbage Pick (n.) - Headline referencing the team's drafting of Erik Karlsson in a 2008 Ottawa Sun article. Now a synonym for "The Earthly Manifestation of Perfection."

Goalie Graveyard (n.) - A metaphysical construct wherein the souls of Tom Barrasso, Patrick Lalime, Martin Gerber, Alex Auld, and Pascal Leclaire are doomed to wander in Sens fans' memories for all eternity.

Heritage Jersey (n.) - The best-looking piece of officially-licensed attire ever associated with the Ottawa Senators. Available in "Not Often Enough" black and "Never Again" white.

Hold out (v.) - The act of refusing to play until you get paid more money. Popularized by Alexei Yashin, along with the turtleneck, the fake charitable donation, and the hugely-beneficial trade to the New York Islanders.

Hometown Discount (n.) - Something that has mysteriously become harder to get players to take ever since the Senators stopped being a Cup contender.

Internal Budget (n.) - The amount of money the Ottawa Senators are willing to spend over the course of a season. Although the exact number is not known, it is the subject of several blog posts a year  declaring it to be inadequate.

Kanata (n.) - The Ottawa suburb where the Canadian Tire Centre is located. From the Mohawk word meaning "car dealerships and strip malls".

Leadership (n.) - A catch-all term for the characteristics that make a player not like Dany Heatley.

Muckler Draft Pick (n.) - A player whose greatest contribution is being the answer to a trivia question.

Mystery Trade (n.) - What the Ottawa Sun is calling the future trade for Chris Stewart, probably because why anyone would trade for Chris Stewart is a mystery.

No-Trade Clause (n.) - A contract clause used by Bryan Murray to demonstrate loyalty to a player on those special occasions when money seems too vulgar. See also: Trade Request

Original Ottawa Senators (n.) - An Ottawa based NHL franchise that ultimately went bankrupt. Distinguishable from the modern franchise by its Stanley Cup victories.

Ottawa Sun (n.) - Local Ottawa paper known for breaking news regardless of whether or not it actually happened.

Ottawa West (n.) - Colloquial term used to refer to the San Jose Sharks, in light of their long-time regular-season dominance, repeated playoff failures, trading for Dany Heatley, and trading Dany Heatley.

Palladium (n.) - See: Corel Centre

Pizza Line (n.) - An offensively-potent forward line consisting of Daniel Alfredsson, Jason Spezza, and Dany Heatley that often sent fans home with free slices of pizza after scoring six goals or more. Considered the leading cause of Ottawa-area obesity in the mid-2000s.

Potvin, Denis (n.) - Former colour commentator for Ottawa Senators regional broadcasts. He has now moved to Florida to be with his first love, Roberto Luongo.

Pesky (adj.) - An overused term for statistically lucky and ultimately unsustainable performance. Still better than "fearless".

Raise the roof (n.) - Chris Neil's post-fight celebration. Not related to Eugene Melnyk's "lower the floor" move.

Rebuild (v.) - The act of selling off non-core players, making the playoffs unexpectedly, raising expectations, failing to meet expectations, and achieving bubble team status.

Scotiabank Place (n.) - See: Canadian Tire Centre

Senagoth (n.) - Former Ottawa Senators logo featuring a centurion in what appeared to be eye makeup. Not to be confused with former defenseman Joe Corvo.

SNES Jersey (n.) - Former third jersey in which the short-form SENS was displayed in block letters over a black jersey with red and white trim. Considered expensive and with little upside, much like the Senators' contemporaneous acquisition of Alex Kovalev. 

Number 27 on the ice, not ranked in our hearts.

Slewidge, Lyndon (n.) - Retired OPP officer who sings the national anthems before Senators home games. Ranks somewhere around "Robocop, but if he also gave away free money" on the "Police Officer Popularity Scale".

Spartacat (n.) - A person in a costume. Not a real Spartan, or a real cat.

Spartan, The (n.) - Oh God I still can't even.

Sweden (n.) - A Scandinavian country whose major export is hockey players and major import is Norris Trophies.

Trade Request (n.) - Something submitted by a player after receiving his No-Trade Clause.

Traffic (n.) - What Chris Neil is expected to provide on the power play, or the road congestion that occurs after an Ottawa Senators home game. Both should be eliminated.

Winger for Spezza (n.) - Whatever this is, it's Dallas' problem now.
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