The Official "Which part of your body would you mutilate if Alfie leaves?" Post

Friday, July 5, 2013

by Bonk's Mullet


If Daniel Alfredsson decides to leave the Ottawa Senators, it's important to be prepared. If you're a Sens fan, it's likely that you have already puked all over yourself after reading that last sentence. Take a moment to clean yourself off.

Your entire emotional sanity is most likely inextricably linked to Alfie's relationship with the community, so it's okay to be scared. What was once laughed at as rumour mongering, it appears to be a real possibility that Alfie might be on his way out the door.
It's important to decide in advance how you would deal with your sudden onset depression. On Twitter I asked "Which part of your body will you mutilate if Alfie leaves the team?" It's important that when all hell breaks loose in Ottawa, you remember your self-mutilation plan.

Below are my favourite responses. "Liver" was the most popular answer, so I would invest in LCBO stock while you still can.