Bonk's Mullet Exclusive: A Sneak Peek at Eugene Melnyk's New Book

by the Bonk's Mullet Staff

If you missed Senators owner Eugene Melnyk on Ottawa radio this afternoon, you missed more bombshell revelations on the state of the team's finances. Melnyk now claims to have lost $110M during his tenure as Senators owner, a sum so massive, he says, it's going to need a whole book to explain. Well, guess what - we've already obtained a copy of the book's table of contents, and it looks like a potboiler! Here's our exclusive peek at Eugene's new book!

Introduction by Rod Bryden - "I Told You So"

Chapter 1 - Hockey Isn't Like the Pharmaceutical Industry. There Are Rules.
Chapter 2 - In Which I Come In Hot First
Chapter 3 - The Story of How the Ottawa Senators Nearly Moved to Barbados
Chapter 4 - A Man, A Plan, A Canal - Kanata!
Chapter 5 - Pleasure Island - The Kanata That Could Have Been
Chapter 6 - Parking Mad - Making A Huge Piece of Asphalt Work For You
Chapter 7 - Raise Banners, Not Ticket Prices
Chapter 8 - The Playoffs Are Like Drinking - You Need At Least Two Rounds
Chapter 9 - Two Teams, One Cup
Chapter 10 - Trading Draft Picks for Fun and Profit-Loss
Chapter 11 - Binge Spending - Was Commodore Was One of the Players or One of the Horses?
Chapter 12 - Blowing Myself Up - Public Speaking is Hard!
Chapter 13 - The Kovalev Affair
Chapter 14 - Is It Time to Change Your Arena Name? Take My Quiz!
Chapter 15 - When You Rebuild a House, You Start at the Floor
Chapter 16 - The Ballad of Bobby Butler's Buyout
Chapter 17 - Fool Me Once, Shame on You; Fool Me Twice, Go to Hell, JP Barry
Chapter 18 - Real Captains Play For Free
Chapter 19 - Jim Watson is a Big Dumb Poopyhead
Chapter 20 - So I'm An Expert - Forensics Revealed at Last!
Chapter 21 - We Don't Need Money When We've Got Each Other

Postscript by Gary Bettman: "The Senators: Serious Inquiries Only"

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