#AskMullet Monday: Eye Surgery Edition

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

by Bonk's Mullet


I had my second round of eye surgery done today to repair holes in my retinas, which went much better than Ottawa's second round attempt to find any holes in the Penguins. That was a stretch, I'm sorry. Here's your third edition of Ask Mullet Monday!

Miley's Iris

I came in a sixth overall pick
But after training camp I didn't stick
All I wanted was to break the top six
All you ever did was demote me
Yeah, you demoted me

A naked Mika on a wrecking ball breaks through the walls of Melnyk's office.

CAPITAL EYE PAINS


MacLean's Mustache Wriggling.

Shed a (Retinal) Tear

I'm going to put my serious hat on for a second. Alfie's contributions to the team have had way more of an impact on me than any other athlete ever has. I've never met the man for more than a second, but I feel like I know him. His calm demeanour and his dry sense of humour has made him a father figure to thousands. He let us watch him at his highest highs and his lowest lows for seventeen years. He led us through times of joy and eased us in times of pain. Anyone who's going to let one contract dispute erase all of that is clearly myopic and petty. I will applaud Alfie from my apartment in Philadelphia up until puck drop, when he becomes the opposition. After the game, he will go back to being the greatest Senator to ever live.

Leveye's

My first answer on Twitter was "Hipcheck Me Outs" in extra slim, by Marc Methot. Upon more thought I will also consider "Erik Condrangler Jeans", "True Relijim O'Briens," and "Patrick Weirdcrotch: Alternative jeans for men."

Eye don't know

I honestly have no idea at this point. Sending him down to Binghamton didn't make much hockey sense in the first place. The team is back into the "win now" mentality and you would have thought Zibanejad was past the point of developing in the minors. If the team truly believes he's one of those "can only play in the top 6" guys, it might be a while until we see him there, as 19/9 aren't going anywhere and MacArthur, Turris, Conacher and Ryan have been lighting many mups. If they finally concede that the "fourth liner" isn't a real thing, he might finally get a chance to play again. One thing working in his favour is Pageau essentially playing himself out of the lineup. And who is Derek Grant?

 Today.

BAM, ANALYSIS!

Set our Pupils Free

I read on HFBoards that they could be had for Bozak and a 2nd. Pull the trigger, Melnyk!

Eye of the Tiger

I would think this would be highly dependent on how far apart you dropped them from each other. Robin Lehner's triple black belt in bear fighting would do him well from close range against even the toughest of opponents, but Eric Gryba's head hunting experience (Player 81) and accuracy with a crossbow is second to none. If you dropped them at an optimal distance from each other, I'd suspect the entire wilderness would erupt in flames, every creature would be slain, and the two men would emerge unscathed, shaking hands on a well-fought draw.

Eye Love You Mom

My Mom's current method of tweeting involves emailing Twitter.com from her desktop. And if she wanted to see me without pants, she'd just come down to the basement, hopefully with a refill on the Doritos. #bloggerlyfe

Eye for Fashion

The body of Eric Gryba's beard (RIP). The hold of MacLean's gaze. The shine of Erik Karlsson's Norris. The fluffiness of Turris's cheesecake. The length of a Leafs off-season.

Eye Pun

Read our tweets of the week! That's it folks. See you next week for a special Halloween edition of #AskMullet Monday.

Leave a Comment

Powered by Blogger.