Week 8 Preview: Who plays hockey on Mondays?

by Bonkie Bonk and the Mullets - Motown's hottest new doo-wop crew

Ok first of all, Monday Night Hockey? Come on, "Hockeytown." Everyone knows Mondays are for writing hilarious weekly preview articles and continuing to ignore the NFL. Anyway, looks like we just got a bushel of lemons so...

The NHL schedule makers and the RBM crew are pleased to present:

The First Ever Weekly Preview / Game Recap Hybrid!

Mmm, that's some tasty lemonade! This week the Sens play all the back-to-backs so let's see how things are going to go / have gone thus far!

Stories to watch

Nov 24 @ Detroit

We will now attempt to summarize this game using only emoticons.

Early first period -   :)

Later first period -  ಠ_ಠ

Second period -   (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Third period -  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Or if you prefer Vine videos...

The game was hard to watch for long stretches. That's what we're getting at, people.

Nov 25 @ St. Louis

Oh man, these guys were in the last weekly preview.

*Opens a new browser tab*
*Checks the last post*
Hmmm, let's see. Runblad trade joke? Check. Brian Elliot joke? Sorta check. Their kid line is better than our kid line joke? Check. Well shit. Thanks guys.

St. Louis almost wore the worst sweater in NHL history. And remember Brett Hull? Man, that guy was an ass. Then a bunch of other stuff happened. They're pretty good now, we guess. And one of us has Jake Allen on his fantasy team, so that's a thing. Anyway, the last game got chippy so maybe this one will too? Oh and it's the back end of a back-to-back so that's usually a thing that matters.

Look, guys. It's a long season. Not all of our takes will sizzle, ok? Just watch the game. Also, expect the Sens to give the same amount of effort to this game as we did.

Nov 28 @ Tramar Lacel Dillard

We've got a "Good Feeling" about this game, guys
We're not saying the Panthers are the Low man on the NHL totem but we don't see a scenario in which our Club Can't Handle them right now. The Sens just have to get Right Round the crease, make life difficult for Roberto Luongo and play hard to the Whistle.

Cause those are all songs by Flo Rida, guys. He's a rapper.

And his name is basically Florida.

Flo Rida.

Whatever, at RBM we mostly listen to jazz.

RBM: The only place you'll get adult males making outdated pop references about struggling hockey teams. We assume.

Nov 29 @ Tampa Bay

Did you guys know Ben Bishop used to play for Ottawa but then Ottawa traded him to Tampa for good old Cory Conacher but that Cory Conacher turned out to not be very good at hockey while Ben Bishop went on to prove he is very good at hockey?

You did?

Ok, well, this is actually a good litmus test for a Sens club that fancies itself a contender in the East. The Lightning are sitting second in the division and despite losing heart-and-soul man Martin St. Louis last season they seem to be the real deal, riding hot goaltending, steady defence and talented young scoring forwards.

It's basically the Ottawa blueprint except actually executed very well.

In an alarming twist, the Sens have actually beat the Lightning already this season on the back of the hot goaltender we didn't trade so it couldn't very well come down to which goalie will be on the top of their game. Hopefully Lehner's and Andy's backs aren't too sore from carrying the team through these first 20 games. 

Wrap up 

  • Current record: 9-6-4
  • Team injuries: Methot (back); Phillips (rigor mortis)
  • Fancy stat of the week: 12 (avg. blown capillaries per taping of Steve Dangle video podcast)
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