You're the GM of the Ottawa Senators (Results)

Thursday, June 27, 2013

by Bonk's Mullet


Hello my faithful Mulletians. It's been a month since I posted my last blog "So you're the GM of the Ottawa Senators... (Reader Poll)". After the craziness that was Sens Money on the Board, I took some time off to get my real life back together. I figured one month of real life was enough.

As I'm sure you've been waiting on the edge of your seat for a month, I won't withhold the results from you for any longer.


Mike Hoffman is looking for $650,000 for a two-way deal
Re-sign him, the depth couldn't hurt (450 - 81%)
Let him go; there's no future for him on the roster (104 - 19%)

For Sens fans, re-signing Hoffman to a two-way deal is a no-brainer. On June 26th the team decided to qualify him as a restricted free agent, meaning they will attempt to re-sign him over the summer. He showed promise in the AHL this year, but suffered a collar bone injury before he was able to put up any meaningful results at the NHL level. And yes, I know what you're thinking: this is the most I have ever written about the Senators without making a joke.

Daniel Alfredsson is asking for $3 million for one year
Re-sign him, and keep him unconditionally (492 - 89%)
Re-sign him, and trade him at the deadline if Ottawa is out of contention (49 - 9%)
Announce his retirement through a veil of tears (13 - 2%)

If the poll had have said anything otherwise, I would have quit Sens blogging forever. I'm a little shocked 10% of you would trade him if it came to that. You're lucky the poll was anonymous.

Guillaume Latendresse is asking for $1 million for one year
Re-sign him (86 - 16%)
Let him go (302 -55%)
Ask if he'd settle for Burger King coupons instead (166 - 30%)

Letting friend of the blog Guillaume "Guyet" Latendresse go was an easy choice for Sens fans. Luckily for them, Bryan Murray thought so too. Guyet has been sent packing. Legend has it he carries nothing but a fork and knife when traveling.

Peter Regin is looking for $850,000 for 1 year
Re-sign him, but avoid shaking his hand to protect his health (80 - 14%)
Let him go, ensuring the door doesn't hit him on the way out (474 - 86%)

Poor Peter. What once seemed like a diamond in the rough for the Ottawa Senators has turned into nothing but a frequent flyer on the IR. It's unlikely Regin will secure another NHL job, but hopefully he can land on his feet in Europe without breaking his ankles.

Erik Condra is looking for a total of $4.8 million over 3 years
Re-sign him; he is essential to the success of the PK (460 - 83%)
Let him walk; his offensive ineptitude makes him replaceable (64 - 12%)
Say something about CORSI to sound smarter, and end up offering him more money than he asked for (30 - 5%)

The Senators also decided to qualify Erik Condra. If he could ever manage to find the scoring touch, he'd be an unbelievably valuable player, but the Sens are mostly known for their Swedish, not their finish. (You should probably stop reading now.)

Mike Lundin is asking for recognition as a member of the 2013 Ottawa Senators

Excuse me, who? (200 - 36%)
That's a person that exists? (92 -17%)
Was he a late draft pick or something? (43 - 8%)
Did he go by a nickname or something? (59 - 11%)
You don't mean Sundin do you? I hate that guy. (160 - 29%)

Sorry, I don't know how that question got in there.

Sergei Gonchar is asking for $6 million over 2 years

Re-sign him; he still has some life in him (182 - 33%)
Let him go; you'd rather a one year deal (192 - 35%)
Blink in disbelief and remind him you're not the GM of the Penguins (180 - 32%)

This one was a lot tighter than I thought it would be, although I purposely cheaped out on the contract to see how much Sens fans were willing to pay to keep Gonchar. Given how close the voting was, it seems apparent Sens fans would never have kept him around for the $10 million the Dallas Stars offered him. Gonchar insists winning as his top priority, which explains why he decided to join a team that hasn't made the playoffs since 2008.

Patrick Wiercioch (RFA) is looking for a $2.5 million deal over 2 years

Re-sign him; his future is bright, especially on the PP (363 - 66%)
Take him to arbitration, he can be had for less than that (141 - 25%)
Tell him you've got his precious Kyle Turris and if he doesn't give in to your demands, you'll pop the big booty. (50 - 9%)

Patrick Wiercioch quietly had the largest turnaround season of any Senator. After having suffered a potential career-ending throat injury last season, Weirdcouch managed to reclaim his status as a top prospect for the Senators during the first half of the AHL season. After several injuries to the Senators blueline, Oddcrotch managed to weasel his way into a semi-regular roster spot. With the departure of Gonchar, and with Melnyk unlikely to stretch the budget, Strangesofa will likely be counted on as a regular in the Senators' top 6.

Andre Benoit is looking for a 1 year, 1-way deal at $900,000.
Re-sign him; he's a decent 7th defenceman (401 - 72%)
Let him go; he's a waste of a roster spot (61 - 11%)
I'm sorry, who is Mike Lundin? (92 - 17%)

So it turns out that none of the Senators' roster decisions are controversial at all in the fans' eyes. Sens fans are comfortable with Benoit's performance, which is reasonable as there's relatively nothing offensive about his game.

I'll be in Montreal this weekend, but I might be able to crank some draft material out. Stay tuned to the blog this summer!

Editor's note: Be sure to submit your SensMotB donations if you haven't already.