New CTC lights "too bright"
by Mike Wheeler
"They're really unnecessarily bright," says Judy from Nepean, "I know the tickets tell you to bring eye-protection, but even so, it's very difficult to keep track of the visiting players in white jerseys." While fans have been encouraged to wear sunglasses to games this year, some are finding that welder's masks are necessary to properly enjoy the on-ice action.
Many assumed the new lighting would simply be a routine building upgrade, but it is becoming a health hazard for some visitors to the CTC. The Senators organization is now making it mandatory for all fans in the 300 section to wear heat shielding due to dangerous proximity to the new lights. Physicist Joam Brunt explains, "While attending a Senators game, fans will be exposed to an incredible amount of energy. Imagine staring at a solar eclipse except from the surface of the sun."
For once, not everyone in Ottawa is complaining. Senators forward Kyle Turris argues that the lighting gives the home team a unique advantage, "Not all of our opponents have their protective gear ready to go yet, so any player out there without special goggles and a radiation-proof jersey is effectively playing blind and on fire." Turris added jokingly, "You can't hit what you can't see! And also you might be on fire."