Photoshop Game Day Preview: Philadelphia @ Ottawa

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

by Capital Gains


Editor's Note: Please welcome Capital Gains as the 5th official member of the BonksMullet.com crew. Gains was scooped up as an official member thanks to his Halloween guest post, and consistently hilarious Photoshop jobs and comics

It's game day! The Philadelphia Flyers are in town, which means that Ray Emery has once again returned to the nation's capital. Make sure to wear your seatbelt while driving to the game! Here's the Senators Extra prediction panel (featuring Bonk's Mullet) with their predictions for tonight's match, and here are your big story lines:
  • The Flyers seem to have an endless amount of money to spend on players, despite what the league refers to as a "salary cap". The Senators are always struggling to pay for a competitive roster, owing to what to league refers to as a "salary floor".
It's never sunny in Philadelphia because these guys are always MAKIN' IT RAIN!
    • Craig Anderson gets the start for Ottawa, meaning tonight's marquee matchup has been moved to pay-per-view:
    Lehner was shot with bear tranquilizer before posing for this picture.
      • It's a shame that we were robbed of that potential dust-up, but it's not like we haven't had our share of Sens-Flyers brawls in the past (Spezza at 12:52!). It's clear that Paul MacLean will never have a career as a fight promoter, but I wonder what it would look like if he did...
      "GOIN' AT'ER IN KANAT'ER!"
      • Local boy Bobby Ryan faces his hometown team for the first time in a Sens jersey, but does he miss life in South Jersey?
      This cheesesteak? This is yours now. Now I eat . . . SHAWARMA.
        • The Flyer's biggest scoring threat tonight is their goalless captain, Claude Giroux.
        "Too soon." - Erik Condra

          • Due to Gamecenter's regional restrictions, our Chief Editor and Staff Advisor Bonk's Mullet is doing the unthinkable and viewing the game from inside a Philadelphia bar. We at the site wish you good luck.

          Stay safe Mullet.
            To everyone else who isn't worried about breaking any bones tonight, enjoy the game!