An inside look at items left behind at Ottawa Senators locker clean out day

by Radek Bonk's Mullet

With the team holding their locker clean out day on Monday, I able to sneak in to the room while the players were distracted by the media. I was able to sneak a peak at the items left behind by the players in their respective lockers. The following is a comprehensive list of what I found.

Jason Spezza: Working draft of his captain's 'C' acceptance speech, with the date crossed out twice.

Kyle Turris: A giant tub of protein powder, still factory sealed.

Jean-Gabriel Pageau: His bottle of "Jean Gabriel's Secret Stuff."

Peter Regin: His career.

Colin Greening: A few shards of fibre glass, some nuts and bolts, and an oil can.

Matt Kassian: 1001 hipster jokes; many of them are underlined with "METHOT" written in the margin.

Chris Neil: A hefty stack of business cards from desperate local dentists.

Erik Condra: His copy of "Hitting the Net for Dummies."

Lightly used

Milan Michalek: A pad of pre-signed doctor's notes.

Guillaume Latendresse: His copy of a special impending-UFA edition of Jenny Craig magazine.

Cory Conacher: A signed photo from Martin St. Louis in a heart-shaped frame; glass shattered.
Artist's rendering. (@SensForLife11)
Jim O'Brien: As he does after every game, his cellphone.

Jakob Silfverberg: His golden helmet, golden skates, and golden jock strap. Ladies...

Mika Zibanejad: Any hint of a Swedish accent.

Zack Smith: His extremely worn out copy of "How to invent your very own accent."

Andre Benoit: Angry note from a delirious Lars Eller who heard "Player number 61" was the reason for his concussion.

Jared Cowen: His jockstrap, which he didn't bother to put back on after the Penguins tore it off.

Sergei Gonchar: Evgeni Malkin.

Chris Phillips: This discarded list:

Eric Gryba: A stack of parking tickets, traffic violations, court hearing dates, jury summons, and restraining orders, all sent from the Montreal Police.

Erik Karlsson: A dusty, old, leather-bound book with "lalala" on the cover; it burns the hand of all those who try to open it.

Mike Lundin: A request to have his own locker.

Marc Methot: A bag of nuts for his pet squirrel.

Patrick Wiercioch: A stack of love letters signed "Kyla Turrisa."

Craig Anderson: [Editor's note: Anderson's locker appears to have been replaced by a brick wall.]

Robin Lehner: A note he forgot to give to Craig Anderson, which simply read, "Soon ;)"

Daniel Alfredsson: The puck from game 4, labeled "to be thrown out." (and his shirt)

Thanks for reading, and thanks for a fun playoff run. We'll continue to have a ton of content over the summer. Just a reminder that every donation of $11.11 gets you a ballot in a draw to win an autographed Alfredsson card. Make your pledge here.
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