by Radek Bonk's Mullet
With the team holding their locker clean out day on Monday, I able to sneak in to the room while the players were distracted by the media. I was able to sneak a peak at the items left behind by the players in their respective lockers. The following is a comprehensive list of what I found.
Jason Spezza: Working draft of his captain's 'C' acceptance speech, with the date crossed out twice.
Kyle Turris: A giant tub of protein powder, still factory sealed.
Jean-Gabriel Pageau: His bottle of "Jean Gabriel's Secret Stuff."
Colin Greening: A few shards of fibre glass, some nuts and bolts, and an oil can.
Matt Kassian: 1001 hipster jokes; many of them are underlined with "METHOT" written in the margin.
Chris Neil: A hefty stack of business cards from desperate local dentists.
Erik Condra: His copy of "Hitting the Net for Dummies."
Milan Michalek: A pad of pre-signed doctor's notes.
Guillaume Latendresse: His copy of a special impending-UFA edition of Jenny Craig magazine.
Cory Conacher: A signed photo from Martin St. Louis in a heart-shaped frame; glass shattered.
|Artist's rendering. (@SensForLife11)|
Jakob Silfverberg: His golden helmet, golden skates, and golden jock strap. Ladies...
Mika Zibanejad: Any hint of a Swedish accent.
Zack Smith: His extremely worn out copy of "How to invent your very own accent."
Andre Benoit: Angry note from a delirious Lars Eller who heard "Player number 61" was the reason for his concussion.
Jared Cowen: His jockstrap, which he didn't bother to put back on after the Penguins tore it off.
Sergei Gonchar: Evgeni Malkin.
Chris Phillips: This discarded list:
Eric Gryba: A stack of parking tickets, traffic violations, court hearing dates, jury summons, and restraining orders, all sent from the Montreal Police.
Erik Karlsson: A dusty, old, leather-bound book with "lalala" on the cover; it burns the hand of all those who try to open it.
Mike Lundin: A request to have his own locker.
Marc Methot: A bag of nuts for his pet squirrel.
Patrick Wiercioch: A stack of love letters signed "Kyla Turrisa."
Craig Anderson: [Editor's note: Anderson's locker appears to have been replaced by a brick wall.]
Robin Lehner: A note he forgot to give to Craig Anderson, which simply read, "Soon ;)"
Daniel Alfredsson: The puck from game 4, labeled "to be thrown out." (and his shirt)
Thanks for reading, and thanks for a fun playoff run. We'll continue to have a ton of content over the summer. Just a reminder that every donation of $11.11 gets you a ballot in a draw to win an autographed Alfredsson card. Make your pledge here.